Thursday, March 26, 2009

California to Ban Black Cars


Please tell me this is a joke. Please. Someone. Anyone.

Why do California legislators hate black cars? White, yellow, and brown cars are fine, but can't have any black ones! Freakin' racist bastards.

If this weren't serious, I would think it was a stupid parody of government ineptitude. Sadly, it's no joke.

This is so outrageous that I can only begin to imagine what Martin Luther King, Jr. would have to say about this blatantly racist attack on cars of color. Were he to stand in Sacramento and give his famous speech, would it look like this?:

As we drive, we must make the pledge that we shall always use the fast lane. We cannot pull illegal u-turns. There are those who are asking the devotees of automotive civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as cars of color are the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our SUVs, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain parking in the truck-stops of the highways and the parking structures of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the colored car's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our newly purchased midnight-black Mini's are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "Parking For White Cars Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as a black Jeep in San Diego cannot get on the I-5 and a black BMW in San Jose believes it has no freeways on which to merge. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow impound lots. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Richmond, go back to South San Francisco, go back to Oakland, go back to Watts, go back to Compton, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all light duty cars and trucks are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the brown hills of the East Bay the sons of formerly black car owners and the pickup trucks of former slave owners will be able to get their oil changed together at the Jiffy Lube of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of California, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom, justice and pitch black asphalt.

I have a dream that my little Jeep Liberty will one day drive in a nation where it is will not be judged by the color of its paint job but by the content of it's towing capacity.

I have a dream today.

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